Feeling like a failure after divorce is fairly normal.
You look around you and you see all these people who are making marriage work. But you weren’t able to do it. And it hurts.
You assume that everyone around you can sense your failure and are judging you to be less than they are. But the truth is that you’re imagining most of it. (Sure, there may be some nasty people in your life who are calling you a failure, but they’re WRONG.)
Although it can seem almost impossible to extract yourself from feeling like a failure, it’s not impossible.
You can move past this feeling by changing your perspective… here is how:
1) It takes two people to make marriage work on a daily basis. So you’re not alone in having responsibility for the failure of your marriage. (NOTE: Taking responsibility for your part in the failure of the marriage is completely different from being a failure.)
2) A marriage exists between two people. When a marriage ends in divorce, it’s the relationship between the couple that’s a failure not either of the spouses.
3) You are whole and powerful beyond mesure. You have always been so much more than a spouse, a daughter, sister, mother… You are so much greater than a failure.
4) There is no failure in life… only teachings You’ve always done your best with the resources, ability and understanding you’ve had each and every moment of your life. Everything is experience and teachings. And there’s no way that you can be a failure.
Shifting your belief away from feeling like a failure because you’re divorced is a necessary part of divorce recovery. It is not always easy. But this experience will make you stronger and wiser. The fact is that millions of people get divorced every year and these same people live fulfilling lives post-divorce. You can too.
If you need some more guidance, I encourage you to read the free guide “7 essential keys to survive a divorce without falling apart”.
It will help you during your healing journey.
Gabrielle – Puranshant Kaur